Sunday, September 23, 2012

SHOOP THE WHOOPING SKELETAN

A baculum is in any Mammal's little willy. It's a penis bone. But we don't have it, interestingly.

Polar Bears have a streamlined skull, which helps them swim in water. Unlike a Grizzly's skull.

You don't need to be a vertebrate to have a skeleton, skeleton means bone, not a spinal cord.

Molting is very terrible.

You have at least 32 teeth.

There are a few bones in your ear. And there is one bone in your throat. Behind your Mandible.

There are lots of bones in your body.

Ancient Romans were awesome. According to people in Ye Olde times.

Romans prohibited the dissection of humans. Which meant romans did not have a good view of what humans looked like.

The local judge usually gave away dead bodies of prisoners to the first person ever to dissect a human.

Most of the secrets in life are bound under human skin.

Placental mammals are pretty gross, because they give birth in a weird way.

Pronghorn Antelope's horns are very amazing, because they are removable.

The Skeleton is not the dead part of us, it is vital. We need it. It protects your organs, and it holds your structure together.

In Alaska, Baculums were used as handles for weapons, and are sometimes sold as souvenirs to people who visit. Gross, but cool. The largest one in existence, as claimed by the owner, was sold for $8,000.

The hardest parts of our body are, wait for it, wait for it, our skeleton.

The largest bone in your body is your Femur. Once again, no, we do not have a Baculum.

We may not have a penis bone, but other primates do! Why? The question is, why?

Spider Monkeys do not have a Baculum either. What is going on here?

Your bones have marrow in them, which is pretty tasty.

Baculums sold by the Alaskans are called Oosiks. They are usually fossilized, and they can be over 1000 years old!

Baculums help with Sexual Intercourse, but we have something else that I would rather not talk about.

Why am I leaving out the ladies? Female animals also have bones to help with Sexual Intercourse. Not sure if the ladies in our species have it though. So calling all scientists!

Exoskeletons are very heavy. Which means you never see an ant the size of an Elephant.

You have 26 bones in each foot.

Talking about the skeleton is a breeze! I should have highlighted it before!

Everyone loves organs! Well, maybe not you. Or you. Or maybe even you. And all you ladies.

Our organs are gross, aren't they. Nope.

Remember, evolution is real. It's not just Charles Darwin making a deal with Satan. Shut up.

Your skin protects you, but it doesn't count as a skeleton.

Rhino Heads are good for being giant. LOL.

Keratin is awesome, we need it to make out nails and hair, and animals need it for their horns.

I dunno if Keratin counts as a bone, but if it does, then I should be talking about it.

There are lots of bones in your body. A lot of bones are in your face, only a few are in your arm, a lot are in your hands and feet, and finally, the ribs count as bones, which means your chest has a huge amount of bones.

If you have a skeleton in your class, try to observe it. It has screws in it, doesn't it! That's because your muscles hold your bones together. So it's all a you help me I help you situation. :)

Everything we used to know about bones was wrong. Because we believed the romans. Turned out they were idiots.

Why do Rhinos have big heads? Their skulls are just like elephant skulls!

Streamlined skulls are awesome! Woohoo! Swimmin like a boss! Oppa's Polar Bear Style.

We don't have a very cool skull, but that doesn't mean we are awesome monsters.

We are the only ones who can dance! We can even dance to Oppa's Gangnam Style.

So that means our skeletal system is pretty great, don't you think.

We are very smart, and if we want to stay that way, we must have a nice, hard skull.

We need energy to move our bones, if we don't have energy, the only thing holding us together would be our skeleton. Our skeleton can't handle itself though.

One of the few bones that only the muscles hold up is your Mandible! It's the first thing to rot off when you're dead.

Some of your bones are not even bones! We have cartilage in our nose and places like that.

Bye for 3 weeks! Bye!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Very Gross Excretory System.

Your body is using the urinary system right now. Really.

If you do not eat, you die. If your food gets kept in your body, you get a horrible stomachache. So remember, do not hold IT in.

White stuff in the bird poop is the pee. So it isn't all poop. It's pee and poop. Gross.

Do not put your nephrons end to end. It will heavily damage you. But if you do do that (you poor man), it will stretch over 80 kilometres. Very far. You could stretch across a highway with it. Cool eh? But a little gross.

Ladies, Men, they pee from different places. We both have 2 holes. One for peeing, and one for pooping. Our excretory system ends right there. The holes are in different places though. According to your gender. But i'd rather not talk about the holes right now, let's just talk about something else tomorrow!https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht_XnqWQw-VgmjFhrmyuWL6tm0jhulWUZNx-xSYjhyphenhyphen5GepcWZo2QBqkx-SeYpEVZzvzjQORBr1G8de-a4upjEvIGsobBtcINdfpJ62Q5DpirDjcQ5RF8QkKJ2HZFb4VXeNH8P3-63WdmI/s320/color%5B1%5D.png
The Excretory System and The Digestive System.

There is a lot of terrible stuff that can get in your stomach, and your excretory system's job is to get rid of it. So it gets rid of all of the now-sapped-of-energy food and the poison in it.

By the way, I was wrong last time, your stomach actually has acid-proof goop on it, the whole thing isn't really acid-proof.

If you have bad bacteria in your body, your stomach might just try to rush it out quickly, so your poop gets runny. You may hate it, but it's just your stomach's failsafe.

Renal Cortex means Renal BARK. Gross, but cool at the same time. Haha!

I say by the way too much, but you just gotta know this. Your bladder is where your pee is contained. May I use the proper term for pee and poop? Yeah. Faeces and Urine.

Your anus is where the faeces comes out. Your anus is your butt, if you were wondering.

Our organs are very good at their job, because they don't take breaks. Unless you're dead. Then they take a LONG break.

Even the word Excretory seems gross to me. Doesn't it seem gross to you?! If not, I'd hate to break it to you, you should think it's gross.

Your pee is water, heheheh.

Your pee is yellower according to how much you drink. If your pee is red, well, then you have a problem. I think you should see a doctor. If you have weird poop, then think about what you had the last time you ate. Beets?

Beets is the 100th word I said.

Our organs, cut up and stretched, could stretch a LOT longer than even our height. Weird eh?

You might die if one of your organs shut down.

Some organs are more important than others.

Mucus and Pus are gross, you shouldn't even touch it.

There is lots of awesome things happening in your body, the excretory system is only one of them.

Your pee is yellower if you drink less.

Do you not like being peed on? Then avoid bird poop, because that is not just poop, that is both the bird's excretements.

We absorb a lot of energy, but the stuff that isn't absorbed turns into poop.

Your excretory system starts with the food getting sapped of it's energy. And after that, the water gets sucked out of the now-sapped food, giving you more water, not enough to survive, but enough for the body to be happy. Then it gets passed down to your anus, where the now sapped and water-sucked food gets excreted from your very complicated body. Where pee goes, that's another story. And I am not talking about it. Sorry men! I hope you learnt more about the excretory system through this!

Your excretory system is very weird. But that doesn't mean that it isn't important. It is important!

There are lots of parts in your digestive system. Your excretory system is the continuation of the digestive system.

Every mammal has a excretory system, ok? This is one of the true things about mammals, unlike all the other stuff I told you! Kidding, kidding.

Antisteve is scary, I made him.

Lots of animals have an excretory system, and they're not afraid to use it. LOL.

We are very bad at naming things, so that's why all our names are so complicated. John. Jo-hn.
J-o-h-n Geohhne.

Our kidneys are very important.

Do you want a kidney transplant? Go to egypt.

Henle is impossible to gross out, he loved to dissect eyeballs, kidneys and brains, plus he was a big fan of mucus and pus.

Pus is gross, it has blood in it. Really. BYE HOPE YOU LIKED THIS POST!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Digestive System

The Digestive System is great. I like it. Because i love to eat. EAT! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM! :)

And after that, all of the cake is gone, in my stomach.

Puke digestive system goo onto something!

By the way, it's impossible to take back the skin of your head to show off your skull through your mouth without dying.

You taste because you have to eat, the better it is for you, the better it tastes! It's true! Believe me! By the way, Carver dies. Bethany dies. Your choice. Either way, it's Hawke's fault.

You cannot digest all things. If you swallow a huge bundle of rebar, you would not be able to digest it. And you would die because your esophagus would get destroyed.

By the way, it is not possible to eat anally. DONT EVEN TRY IT.

Your mouth is made for eating. Your esophagus is for swallowing. Your stomach is made for digesting. Do not do it the other way around, or else you just might poop out of your mouth (JK)

We process foods. Through our digestive system. It's fun to digest!

There is something that blocks your respiratory system, which stops food from going down it, that is dangerous, if that happened, chances are that YOU WILL DIE!

If you digest, then that means your body turns your food into the stuff! THE STUFF!
They will turn into the STUFF! STUFF! But that's another story. If you want to learn about pee and poop, you will have to wait for another week!

By the way, food isn't really romantic. Problem? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Do you want to puke digestive system over your lunch? No? Then do not become a fly. Remember that now, don't forget it!

Remember, if you eat, it gets turned into energy. That means you have to eat to get energy! ATTENTION EXERCISERS!

By the way, milk is good for calcium. SO DRINK MORE MILK KIDS! By the way, with all the swears I'm using, I guess you aren't reading this.

We process foods. Through our digestive system. It's fun to digest!

There is something that blocks your respiratory system, which stops food from going down it, that is dangerous, if that happened, chances are that YOU WILL DIE!

If you digest, then that means your body turns your food into the stuff! THE STUFF!
They will turn into the STUFF! STUFF! But that's another story. If you want to learn about pee and poop, you will have to wait for another week!

By the way, food isn't really romantic. Problem? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Do you want to puke digestive system over your lunch? No? Then do not become a fly. Remember that now, don't forget it!

Remember, if you eat, it gets turned into energy. That means you have to eat to get energy! ATTENTION EXERCISERS!

By the way, milk is good for calcium. SO DRINK MORE MILK KIDS! By the way, with all the swears I'm using, I guess you aren't reading this.

By the way, your digestive system is pretty much one tube.

The insides of your stomach are acid-proof, so they can't be broken down. But the outside of your skin, well. If you eat your hand, it will digest.

Wolves hunt a lot. If you look at pictures on the internet enough, you might find wolves eating deer. That's just what they do, and they are made to digest meat and only meat. Nothing more, nothing less.

It's completely OK to eat meat, so I'd like to ask PETA to shut the flapjack up.

Euphemisms to the max!

By the way, wolves do not care about how many flies are around their meat, they have an iron gut, made for eating rotten meat. Nom Nom Nom. So wolves like their venison rare, I like my venison medium rare.

Wolves look kinda cute, but they are known to hunt and kill poor helpless animals.

By the way, it is NOT a good idea to make a nursery right next to a dingo pet shop. A dingo ate mah baby!
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g62/TigerQuoll/Grey%20Wolf/D3882_wolf.jpg
Bob! Where'd you put the meat sauce!
There is a lot of meat in your body, meat is muscle, muscle is meat. Muscle is needed to do stuff that require strength. If you do not have your muscles, you would be dead, because you would not be able to hold your weight. Remember that now, and remember that your digestive system contains muscle.

Your small intestine is longer than your large intestine, for those people who don't know already.

I dunno why the small intestine is called the small intestine. Oh yeah, its pretty tiny.

We must chew, it is important. Teeth are important, saliva is important. You need both to start digestion properly.

Your body is big, if you spread it out, it would be gigantic.

Some parts of your body, fully spread out, could be the size of a tennis court. Aren't you happy that it's all squeezed up, huh?

Chew, man, chew! It's important to your body!

The digestive system is hollow, well you need it to be hollow for the food to pass through, right?

Your digestive system is so gross, yet so important. So, when you go camping, you might go fishing or hunt some bunnies.                                 (we do that in new zealand, they're delicious.)
When that happens, you should observe their guts when gutting them, try guessing which organ it is, it's fun. I did it with fish. My gran deals with the rabbits.

Rabbits have no fat on their meat, which means you can't survive on rabbits. But you can survive on most meats. In fact, there is a specific name for that, rabbit poisoning. So be careful when you are camping, and if your pop says "Let's survive on rabbits!" tell him off. You need to eat some more things, like cow and chicken. You can survive on cow and chicken, they have fat. But that doesn't mean rabbits are bad! Eat as much as you like, but don't eat only that.

And this is the end of this post! I'm happy to teach you about the digestive system! And what to eat and what not to eat.










Sunday, September 2, 2012

ERMAGHERD CHURRCURRLATUURY AHHND REESPHURRATORI SHURRSTEM!

Without oxygen, we die.

WE NEED LUNGS! SOME ANIMALS DON'T BUT WE DO!

Fish gills are weird.

LUNGFISH HAVE LUNGS AAAAAAAAAHHHH! CREEPY! WE WERE NOT THE FIRST TO HAVE LUNGS!

BY THE WAY, I AM TAKING MY TIME TO PRESS THE SHIFT KEY, WHICH MEANS THAT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS PRETTY LEGIT!

Alveoli are weird, like a lot of bubbles grouped together!

Lungs work with the DIAPHRAGM! Once again, I took my time to press the shift key.

Blood is in your heart, it gets moved around!

We have a four chambered heart, which is just pretty much a huge lump of muscle!

The Diaphragm is really weird, it is pretty much the only moving muscle in the lung team.

Lungs do not move! The Diaphragm moves them. Between you and me, those lungs are real slackers, I bet that's why you die at the young age of 84.

Our life expectancy increased as we got more tech!

Oxygen is very important to us and our lives. Do not doubt that or you will die, I promise it.

Do you want to put yourself in an airless room? AIRLOCK! Do you know what happenes to your garbage in a rocket? It gets launched into space.

Fish gills are gross, they are hairy, bloody, creepy things.

By the way, I gutted a fish once. While it was alive. Poor thing. But it was pretty fun. JK. It was not fun at all.

Japanese like to eat fish, especially fish that are still alive. They are kept alive using electricity. And then their bits get cut off. And it watches you as you eat it's delicious raw body. Yeah, not cool. PETA! I have something that you should actually give a crap about!

By the way, animal cruelty is not cool, but if it is for your food, then be my guest.

I am not even talking about oxygen! I promise I will tank about it later.

We need to get rid of the Co2 in our body, Co2 is a gas called Carbon Dioxide, which you probably know already, but it is important to know that you do not need this gas, in fact, it's pretty bad to have it in your body.

Aberdeen. Sorry, I have no idea why I said that. ULAPOOL!

The Heart is not exactly the head honcho in the circulatory system. It is just important in it.

By the way, because I type instead of pressing one key at a time, when I press a lot of keys, I press the F and J key. Just saying.

Our circulatory and respiratory system is pretty important. Very important.

Our heart is very important, it pumps blood everywhere. PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP!

If you cut open a vein, blood comes out.

If you tighten some skin around a part of your body, that part of your body will become blue.

There are lots of cool things about Circulatory and Respiratory systems. BUT BE CAREFUL. Listen about the things I say, it is dangerous if you DO NOT BREATHE.

If you stop breathing, you die. If you stop breathing against your will, then you are pretty much in some big crap there bro.

Moist with Mucus, another great band name, hank said that, OBEY.

Your body is very very VERY complicated, and your Circulatory and Respiratory system is one of the most complicated parts of it.

Your neurons are important. Wait, why am I talking about my last post? It's a mystery I'll solve later.

Fish breathe oxygen, like us, they just breathe it in a different way, they breathe it through the water, we breathe it through the air, so fish need bubbles in the water, so that's why you have those cool bubble machines next to your nice fish tank with all those cute goldfish.

Damn it, I just backspaced everything by accident. Gonna have to write this all over again. Isn't that hard work?! Well, I have to try my best. Go me!

Now, your heart is important, it is just one big damn piece of muscle, working 24/7. Isn't that hard work? What's that? You think that's unfair? Well the heart is willing to do this work. Actually, it's less 24/7, but more 24/7/4/365/84

The lungs do not work 24/7/4/365/84. They work 0/0/0/0/0 Poor Diaphragm is the one working 24/7/4/365/84. It's really unfair. But that's life, the lungs get to hang out while using the Diaphragm as a water bed. Your Diaphragm can get strained if you run after you drink water, I know how it feels, it feels TERRIBLE!

If you cut an artery, you are dead, not big surprise. By the way, If you get struck in the artery by an arrow or something, leave it there. Did you know that some arrows are not made to kill, they are made to slow down the person that they hit!
So, If you suddenly get stuck in a medieval battle and you get hit straight in the chest with an arrow, do not pull it out, just snap the end off, and then run to the nearest medieval medic.