Sexual Reproduction? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEXUAL REPRODUCTION? WAT? Oh that sexual reproduction. Yeah.

All of you people without babies, GET BABIES! Spread your genes! Marry someone and get a child! You will need that child! That child has the same job as you! Get another child. Guess how long that's gone. More than 10,000 years, mah man.

Hyenas have a female dominated system, as I said before. The female hyenas have a very strange clitoris called a Pseudo-Penis. Strange, I know. Ducks have a corkscrew Pseudo-Penis. Google that with care, my friend! Google it with care.

Pseudo-Penis is a weird name. At least we don't have one.

Us males are born to be awesome! Seriously. I'm not kidding. We are automatically programmed to try to be more awesome than the other people. For the ladies. The most awesome person gets the ladies. Girls can be awesome, but they don't need to! That's great because we have to be awesome, and that's hard work.

Sexual Reproduction is interesting. And, as everyone says, and yes, that's where the word comes from, sexy. Hyuk hyuk. Yeah.

If you want a pic of a duck's Pseudo-Penis in this blog, then you better vote for it, as that penis is the worst thing ever known in the world. It doesn't even look like a penis. Yet it's still gross! For now, I'll give you a picture of a corkscrew, if you are to be satisfied. Ok? Ok.

FDSLFJDSLFHSDLKFHDSLFHDLS WEIRDLY AWKWARD RANDOM THING I HOPE HANS DOES NOT SEE THIS.

A penis is important! The other sexual organ that females have is good too, but if I even mention the name, I'd kill myself. And then with my soul, I'd pick up my knife, cut out my heart and put it in the fridge. And preserve it so I can put it in a robot in the future! But I should save my brain too. Good idea! Yeah! Yeah, as I was saying, sexual organs are very important.

It is important to make more of myself! Exactly what i'm going to do!

There are lots of animals that like to die! Like lemmings! They kill themselves for the next generation! Woo! Kill yourselves lemmings! For the future!

My dog had babies! But about 2 years after that it died. Poor doggie. Let's hope you're chewing bones in heaven, little girl.

Alpha males are more common than alpha females, but there are some alpha females out there. Like hyenas! Yeah.....

Most male animals can reproduce thousands of times per day! It's their job, so hey, let them do it!

Everything and everyone has sex at least once in their lives! The only disorder that stops them from having sex is being a virgin. SO GET OUT THERE AND REPRODUCE! DARNIT YOU NEED KIDS!

Yeah, don't reproduce. You won't be known around the world as one of the many people who had sex!

WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THESE GLANDS! THEY GIVE YOU THE LADIES AND THEY GET YOU SEX! NOW LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS,YOU SCUMBAG, BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE BLOODY ENDOCRINE SYSTEM! THIS TITLE IS GETTING SO LONG! WHO THE HELL CARES ANYWAY! THIS IS GONNA GET AS LONG AS THE POST SO IM GONNA STOP NOW! OK?! OK!

Our glands are amazing! They give us pimples, they make us hate our parents, and worst of all, they make us commit suicide, if pushed enough. So you hate your glands, don't you? Well, they are extremely important, which you will find out later!

We have glands in our pee pee. Oh wait, that's not the way you say it. We have glands in our sexual organs. They are important. Very important.

The Pituitary gland is important. But it's about the size of a pea. You heard that right, a pea. Pea Pea!

This is kinda weird, but if babies cry, that activates milk production in the breasts? So, women. Don't hear baby crying. You'll waste useful energy.

The thyroid gland manages a lot of stuff. It's also very important. It's also in your neck. Weird.

Gonads are weird. We both have them. Even you, ladies. Even you. Nobody is left out.

Your Glands are weird. They all have jobs. Some tell your heart to beat faster. Others tell you to start makin' dat breast milk! All the glands have jobs. Sweat glands and salivary glands make watery stuff. They are called saliva and sweat. Sweat is salty, saliva is a digesting liquid which is AMAZING. It can't do much without the teeth, because, if there ever was a digesting race between saliva and stomach acid, the stomach acid would win by a longshot.

Your Testosterone is made by your Testes. That's why it's called Testosterone! Geddit Geddit? Well, maybe not.

Muscular men need testosterone! Steroids have testosterone in them. Steroids might give you too much testosterone. Steroids are bad. Baaaaad.

Glands are very important. Without our glands, we would just not be the same. NOT THE SAME!

Hormones! Those things that give you growth spurts and....... Stuff.
Hee hee, look at that fracking cat.

My glands make me do weird stuff. I mean, like weird. Like jumping off your balcony! And hurting yourself. A bit. Actually, It didn't hurt much. But you see what your hormones and glands make you do? Damn.

Napoleon wasn't very small! It's a myth! Which means the pituitary gland is not your body's Napoleon!

The pituitary glands controls the adrenal glands, which control the kidneys.

Adrenaline is made by the adrenal glands, you need adrenaline to get a shock and run!

Your pancreas is the biggest gland. Yep, its a gland. If you did not know that, then see? It's pretty big eh?

Gonads are the sex glands. The Testes and the Ovaries. If you think that's gross, then you're right. LOL.

Embryologists are weird. They cut out gonads!

When you are in the embryo, your embryo is automatically set to make it female! But if your body manually turns it into a male, then that means... YOU'LL BE A MALE! SIMPLE!

Your sex hormones pretty much define themselves. They make you want to have....... sex. Duh.

There may be a dream you're having about your girlfriend right now because of your hormones.........

BUT THIS IS SCIENCE, PAY ATTENTION.

Your hormones do not make you try to kill people. Actually, they do. But if you're Lucius, son of Satan, then that means you must have a lot of hormones. But you're probably not. Because with your telekinesis powers, you could make me pour that oil on myself and make me set a match. Wait, what are you.......... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Ok, I actually wrote this a long time ago. I just started again now. I forgot about it in that fire. Oh my god it burns. Still does.

Oh, and speaking of horrifying stress, your adrenaline glands are needed in stressful moments. Like when I almost died in that fire. Even by thinking about that moment, adrenaline pumps into my veins.

Hormones are things that make you have growth spurts and acne. So......... WHEN YOU BECOME A TEEN, WATCH OUT, BECAUSE YOU WILL GROW THROUGH THE CEILING AND THEN BE COVERED IN SPOTS.

Wait, that's not it. It's a little lower than that. You just grow a little and then you get a lot of spots around your body. Horrible, horrible spots. I bet you are experiencing it right now (or you experienced it in the past)

Hormones sometimes make you bloodthirsty! That's why we invaded enemy villages a long time ago. You want to become Lucius. I'll just inject a lot of those hormones into you. And then I'll teach you how to be stealthy. And then I'll bribe the devil to give you mind control, combustion, telekinesis and a huge planning brain. Then you can be Lucius. Oh, and random person, I just did that to your son. Good luck.








































































































                                                                                           Good Luck Indeed.

YOU SEE THIS CRAP? THIS CRAP IS THE BLOODY IMMUNE SYSTEM, YOU BLOODY CRAPBAG, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS CRAP, NOW READ, OR ELSE ILL KILL YOU AND CRAP IN YOUR HEAD

Don't die. That's the aim of life. Dont damn die.

I like to nod die. I have a lots of way to not die. Like living. Watching movies. Feeding myself. Watching Movies doesn't really help, but hey, I eat popcorn.

Bacteria is all like: I am bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me. While cells are all like: GTFO Bacteria, GET OUT! JUST GET OUT! WE'LL KILL YOU! DIE (THIS CENSOR IS FOR SANE IDIOTS)!

If you get a splinter in your toe, the assassins come in. Those assassins are called white blood cells. They slit the throats of the bacteria. Like a boss.

Natural Born Killers. That's another name for White Blood Cells. They were born to kill all bacteria. Really, Bacteria are innocent. The thing they do is try to reproduce. But they do something bad. And they do that. Hence"I am bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me."

Not dying is important to do every single day. Do not jump out of planes. Do not go into active combat zones. Do not eat bad food. Do not become a Necromorph. Do not find out that your girlfriend has turned into a zombie too late. Do not hallucinate that your now-zombie GF is on your spaceship. Do not do any of that stuff. Thank you.

White Blood cells are like assassins, they eat all bacteria. But they die after doing that about 100 times. Which doesn't seem like much fun. So your white blood cells are good at their job.

You might be allergic to stuff. So that's why you tell your friends if you put peanuts in your cookies.

Phagocytes are amazing. They eat and eat and EAT. Their mission? Destroy all invaders. And destroy all rogue cells. We shall kill all bacteria! And cancer cells! They are the dead percent.

Your Immune System helps you not die.

White blood cells excrete the worst possible thing. It comes out of zombie's mouths. It comes out of that last guy's eyes a few days after that murder. It's pus! Beautiful pus. Pus that comes out of your rotting gash that you're gonna die from. Pus that comes out of your blisters. Pus! An ode to pus.

Blood is not made to come out of your cuts. Blood is made to go around your body. It's like a cell highway, which is protected by the white blood cell cops.

Red blood cells transport air to your heart. They are also what makes your blood red. You want to see blood without red blood cells in it? Just go to the sea! It's everywhere.

Pus may be scary, but it's good stuff. It's the dead bodies of that bacteria that the WBC just killed.

A lot of microbes literally want to kill you. Literally. Seriously. Don't get me wrong, these guys are micro-murderers.

But these tiny micro-murderers are caught and killed by the micro-assassin-cells! The WBC!

Every animal has an innate immune system, but we are born with the innate and learning kind.

Skin is good at keeping your organs in, but it's made to keep stuff out. Outta your beautiful system!

Do you want to die? Well you know what dying is like? First up, everything starts to go white. Then your mind starts to go away. And then oh no! You're dead. Very dead. And then you can't think about anything! And that would be boring. Except it's not, because you can't think about it being boring! And that makes it even more boring! Death sucks. And that's why we have our immune system! Next question.

I love our immune system! But suicide just destroys the point. So please, stop killing yourselves!

It's possible to wallow in filth without dying because of your skin! But if you are bitten by a rabid dog and didn't get your shots..... It was nice knowing ya, reader.

Most bacteria can't get past your awesome skin! But as you get older, it gets easier for attackers to, well, attack.

Phagocytes are amazing. They help! Eat all that bacteria, Phagocytes!

Marcophages are the bodyguards of the organs. They do not let bacteria get in your gut. Over their dead body!

Natural Killer cells are amazing! They do what they are called.

Antigen means Antibody Generator.

Antibodies attack in groups, but that still doesn't mean they can kill the bacteria. It's like Boomer Bile in Left 4 Dead. Antibodies tell the WBC where the bacteria is. And then they swarm them. And kill them.

Helper T cells are the alerting cells. They clean up. If a cell gets infected, then they say "There are problems here! We got a problem here at sector 15!"

Cytotoxic T cells are the executioners, the mercy killers. They kill infected cells.

OH MY BULLCRAP! Muscles!

Muscles are everywhere in your body, and they are being used during every second of your life, the heart being the most used muscle, probably. Well, it needs to beat for about 90 years, don't you think that's hard work?!

The longest muscle in your body goes down your leg, the bigger you are, the longer it is. Actually, that kinda counts for all muscles.

The Skeletal Muscles are the muscles on the outside. They are the ones that are exposed if you peel your skin off like a banana. Try it! Wait..... Actually, don't try it. Please.

Your muscles are really bloody. And if you are a chicken, your muscle would taste great deep fried with canola oil, served with a crispy outside and some fries. Yeah.... "Drool"

If your muscles were exposed to the outside world, and yes, it would really hurt, everyone could see every detail of your muscles.

Muscles are needed for a lot of stuff, including chewing, touching, sleeping, surviving, breathing, living, creating, writing, fighting, gaming, shirt throwing, beer drinking, and finally, the most important thing, thumpadumping.

Muscles contract and relax.

Muscles are thicker in the middle.

Chickens have bigger muscles than we do? Looks like it.

We have quite a bit of meat on our bones, I get why cannibals like to eat us.

Flesh is just some kind of muscle! So meat is muscle. Your tongue is a muscle. ALMOST EVERYTHING IS YOUR MUSCLES!

We didn't have a good understanding of muscle until the 15th century, but we didn't even know how muscles worked until 1954! Shocked? You should be.

If you think you don't use your muscles much, you are WRONG. You use a lot of muscles even when you sit on that cheap, junky couch watching your tiny, static-plagued TV, eating chips. Ha!

Big guns are needed to do strong stuff. Like lifting weights, and other heavy things.

Your muscles are very good at their job, even though that they do only 2 things!

Ligaments are similar to tendons, except they connect bones to other bones.

Tendons are thick, we have some in our heels, it's called the Achilles' Heel. It really hurts when you whack it. Also, it was the fabled weak point of Achilles. Which an arrow got shot in. Which killed him.

There is a lot of contracting and relaxing in your muscle jobs, they didn't sign up for much.

Exercising helps your muscles by hurting them, and then they heal and get stronger. Therefore, don't OVEREXCERCISE!

Huxley is an overused last name. Andrew Fielding Huxley tried to find out about muscles. And, yes, his last name is Huxley. Told you it was an overused surname. Totally overused. Nah, he's related to the Huxley family.

You would not be able to move without your muscles or your skeleton. So you need both. But some animals don't need the skeletons, like the slug, the snail and the sea cucumber.

You have 640 skeletal muscles, which means we don't count muscles like the heart. But that's a lot, amirite? iamrite.

The squeezy part of your body is muscles, you can squeeze them, but you can't squeeze skeletons. You can break your skeleton, if you really try. But don't. Please.

It is possible for bacteria to get to your bloodstream through a small cut in your skin. You can die, even get just a small cut.

Your heart can skip a beat, which is a weird feeling. But your heart can overbeat, creating a heart attack. Uh Oh.

As you get older, your muscles get harder to move.

Muscles are bloody everywhere. And yes, they are really bloody.

Cells need food to grow! So we need meat to grow our muscles. Eat your meat! Eat eat eat!

By the way, nice rhyme, eh? Hahaha.

Could you peel back your skin and send the photo to me so I can observe muscles? Here's my email: thisistotallynotafakeaccount@gmail.com.

Rip apart those muscles! Tear them apart and stuff them in your mouth! I'm talking about chicken muscle of course. It's delicious! Just don't eat too much.

Meat is the #1 thing we love to eat. Veggies, we don't need much of them, but we need lots of meat! And lots of water! If you don't eat meat, your muscles will not grow, and you will be weak! But before that you would probably die of hunger. It's possible!

You can die of too much strength! It's a real thing!

Jean Hanson and Hugh Exmor Huxley also found out about the muscles.

Muscles are truly worth learning about. Because they are one of the many important parts of your big, big, complicated body.

Your Gluteus Maximus is your buttcheek. Hate to break it to ya, not all of your muscles are cool.

One of our bones can move in relation to your other bone. Why? Because of muscles.

Your skeletal muscle is a rope. Made out of smaller ropes. Which are made out of even smaller ropes.

We cannot see muscle fibers. They are as thin as a cell. So now you know how many muscle cells are in meat. Well, you don't, actually. Take a good guess.

SEX! Now that  I got your attention, it's time to tell you about the Huxleys. MUHUHUAHUAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Huxleys are good at discovering stuff. One Huxley was Darwin's bulldog. The others tried to discover more about muscles.

Our muscle strings are like springs. They contract and stretch.